Say Goodbye to Negativity and Hello to Freedom
Say Goodbye to Negativity and Hello to Freedom
Melanie Rietveld Is it really possible to escape the negativity loop and have a more positive outlook on life and circumstances?
The answer is a resounding "Yes!"
For many people who’ve been existing under a cloud of negativity or despair for many years, this audacious claim will likely draw some skepticism. I get it! I was raised in a home where Murphy’s Law was quoted daily, so I can hear you thinking, “Yeah, right, Melanie! Maybe that works for some people, but it won’t work for me!”
Why should you even read on? Is there any chance it will work for you? The answer is again “yes,” because I did it, and so can you. The reason I know this is because you are human and you have a brain. It’s within this lovely, complex, amazing and mysterious human brain where much of the problem and most of the solution lie.
Why are some humans so negative in the first place?
The simple answer is because of the negativity bias (1). Humans are hardwired to look for threats and be aware of anything potentially dangerous or deadly in the environment so we can either fight, flee or freeze. This has been a necessary survival mechanism since our arrival on the planet, and continues to serve us well in many situations. For better or for worse, the negativity bias appears to be a guiding factor in what we ultimately perceive in our broad range of human experiences. Simply put, we tend to notice more threats than blessings in our everyday lives. To add insult to injury, our human brains are also highly influenced by the confirmation bias (2). Although the confirmation bias manifests in different ways, when it comes to being stuck in the negativity loop, it means that we primarily notice that which we already believe to be true, and inadvertently strengthen the loop’s power over our thinking.
What are some ways the negativity loop manifests in our thinking?
- Replaying and reliving negative events from the past. We’ve all done it, and it might be a temptation ‘til the day we die.
- Feeling stuck because of poor choices or missed opportunities in the past
- Believing that life or relationships will always be a certain way because that’s how it has always been
- Believing that YOU will always be a certain way because that’s how you’ve always been
- Thinking that you can’t succeed because of a history of failure.
- Thinking you are “damaged” and therefore your potential is limited
- And the list goes on…
Get ready for a PARADIGM SHIFT!
If you identify with any of the above thought patterns, I have GREAT NEWS for you! You don’t have to stay stuck! YOU can escape the negativity loop and live a life of greater peace, joy and health.
How is this possible?
As a self-proclaimed science geek, I have to say that I LOVE living in the 21st century. Even with all the problems that accompany modern industrialization and technology, the advances in science just blow my mind! I’m so grateful to live in an era where scientists have discovered and rigorously studied the concept of brain neuroplasticity (3). The super simple explanation is that our thought patterns are like busy highways. The neural connections supporting habitual thoughts move very fast and with little resistance. Many times we don’t even question why we’re thinking a thought because we’re so used to it. We think our thoughts are “us.”
What researchers have discovered is that it’s possible for humans to recognize that certain habitual thoughts are no longer true or useful, and take action to replace them with healthier, more supportive thoughts. Although it takes time and practice, it is possible to retrain our brains by intentionally building new neural pathways that support wellbeing and letting old pathways diminish.
How does it work?
Here is a simple process you can start using today to encourage healthier and happier thought patterns:
- Recognize that you are not your thoughts. Human consciousness is a divine gift that allows us to use our minds to observe our minds. Amazing!
- Awareness is key. It takes intentional awareness to monitor the thoughts you are thinking and their effects on your emotions and actions.
- Remember that life holds both good and bad for everyone. How you choose to think about and process your circumstances determines whether you learn and move on or ruminate and get stuck.
- Notice the unhelpful, disempowering thoughts. Ask yourself if these thoughts are serving you or helping you move forward.
- Think of replacement thoughts that you actually believe. (This is why affirmations sometimes fail. If you don’t truly believe them, your brain will create resistance and tell you all the reasons they’re not actually true.) Sometimes these replacement thoughts will seem neutral. That’s okay. It’s far more helpful to think a neutral thought that you actually believe than a sky-high dream thought that you don’t! You can upgrade the neutral thoughts later on.
- Look for and create evidence that your new thought it true. Remember the confimation bias? This is where you use it to prove to yourself that the new thought is true.
- Practice, practice, practice. It takes repetition to build new neural pathways and persistence is key. Stay motivated by listing all the ways you are going to feel better when your new thought patterns are well in place.
- BELIEVE THAT IT’S POSSIBLE!
If this idea resonates with you, there are many books on neuroplasticity that approach the subject from different perspectives and offer varying methods. (4) (5). Although it may be helpful to learn as much as possible while working through the process, it’s not always necessary.
If these suggestions are helpful, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me with your thoughts.
Are you ready for more freedom?
References:
- Not all emotions are created equal: The negativity bias in social-emotional development – PMC (nih.gov)
- Confirmation Bias: What It Is and Why It’s Important (webmd.com)
- Neuroplasticity: How to Rewire Your Brain to Change Old Patterns (psychcentral.com)
- Switch On Your Brain – Dr. Leaf (drleaf.com)
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza (Paperback Boo – Unlimited with Dr Joe Dispenza
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